~ CAT DIARY ~
DAY 1 -- My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I
get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 2 -- Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded, must try this at
the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 3 -- Slept all day so that I could
annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant
pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 4 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought
them the headless body, in attempt to make them
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed
and condescended about what a good little cat I
was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan......
DAY 5 -- I am finally aware of how
sadistic they are. For no good reason I was
chosen for the water torture. This time however
it included a burning foamy chemical called
"shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 6 -- There was some sort of gathering
of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes
they call "beer." � More importantly, I overheard
that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage....
DAY 7 -- I am convinced the other captives
are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is
routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on
the other hand, has got to be an informant. He
has mastered their frightful tongue (something
akin to mole speak) and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.
Due to his current placement in the metal room
his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only
a matter of time.