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**Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the internet.

**Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

**Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

**Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.

**Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

**Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

**Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

**Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

**Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

**Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

**Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.

**Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

**Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM.

**Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

**Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.

**Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

**Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that house plants are not meat.

**Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.